Chapter 26a – Don’t wake up the devil

We all have a dark side. You can try to hide it, but what’s the point hiding a part of you, a big part? The light is just as important as the dark. There is no reason why it shouldn’t see the daylight.

I am the person who never sees all the things as strictly white or black. We are all just a different shade of grey. Many don’t agree but it doesn’t bother me. I never let the furthest parts of my dark side surface anyway.

It is in human nature. One cannot be purely good or evil. What kind of world would that be?

I have a sleeping evil inside of me, I know it and accept it. I work hard not to let it out sometimes, but I do make a compromise. In order not to let the demon out, I let the sorrows, the pain, the anguish consume me at times. In small portions I let the jealousy, the anger, the hate out. Small doses at times when I can’t hold it in anymore.

I wish that part of me was gone with a snap of my fingers, but sometimes I am grateful, it fuels my art and determination for the good to cast a shadow over it. To conceal it at least, even though it will always be there I know it will. No amount of self-control will ever change that but that makes me ME. Accept me. I accept you.

It does not harm others and it never will. I am its only victim. If it stays locked and under control that will continue to be the case. I have survived all these years, I know how to keep it a good and semi-obedient pet by now.

I like it when it sleeps and I am still learning not to disturb it too much at times. There is always space to learn and grow.

Let it sleep, and hopefully it will die before I do.