There are a lot of ways to drive people up the hill to be a goat farmer. Some people prefer that rather than having to interact verbally with some members of the human race. Now, if by any twist of faith you want to achieve the same, I have some suggestions and advice on how you can inflate the population of goat farmers on this planet we call home.
Say I love you and mean it
Have weird collections of hair/teeth
laugh maniacally without any reason to
be a bossy son of a bitch
always blame others for every mistake you make, or better yet, for everything that goes wrong in the world while doing it. It doesn’t hurt to overreact.
Make yourself look creepy. – by any means necessary
start stalking that someone
Make yourself look dead.
Acting like you’re always a victim
Cheating and cutting moral corners simply because you can – that will annoy some fuckers
show up 8 months pregnant to a person’s house, a person you could have met once or twice
have a strong personality
be ultra mega giga competitive and make everything a competition
complain that you are lonely and be super clingy
have a pet iguana and take it for a walk
be a known mafia member
fake your own death and hold your own funeral. Show up alive to your own funeral
Go everywhere with an egg. Give the egg a name. Not Egbert – too obvious, but probably Herbert, emphasis on HERB!
just be the best version of you – it will scare the ones that need to be scared without even breaking a sweat