There are a lot of ways to drive people up the hill to be a goat farmer. Some people prefer that rather than having to interact verbally with some members of the human race. Now, if by any twist of faith you want to achieve the same, I have some suggestions and advice on how you can inflate the population of goat farmers on this planet we call home.
  • Say I love you and mean it
  • Have weird collections of hair/teeth
  • laugh maniacally without any reason to
  • be a bossy son of a bitch
  • always blame others for every mistake you make, or better yet, for everything that goes wrong in the world while doing it. It doesn’t hurt to overreact.
  • Make yourself look creepy. – by any means necessary
  • start stalking that someone
  • Make yourself look dead.
  • Acting like you’re always a victim
  • Cheating and cutting moral corners simply because you can – that will annoy some fuckers
  • show up 8 months pregnant to a person’s house, a person you could have met once or twice22 ways to scare people away
  • have a strong personality
  • be ultra mega giga competitive and make everything a competition
  • complain that you are lonely and be super clingy
  • have a pet iguana and take it for a walk
  • be a known mafia member
  • fake your own death and hold your own funeral. Show up alive to your own funeral
  • Go everywhere with an egg. Give the egg a name. Not Egbert – too obvious, but probably Herbert, emphasis on HERB!
  • just be the best version of you – it will scare the ones that need to be scared without even breaking a sweat

4 Replies to “22 ways to scare people away

Let me know what are your thoughts!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.