A day like any other. Except that I turned 21 yesterday.
This day is depressing for me not only because I am one year older and closer to my inevitable demise, but because looking back at the year before I have nothing to be proud of… no accomplishments, nothing in my life that particularly improved on any basis.
Some people become famous by 21 with a great album or two, some have been on the top of their sport, some made a billion dollars with their app etc.
What am I doing? Nothing. I am still not finished with university (which is not uncommon). I work part time to have money for my expenses thank come along with my education. Between those I have almost no time or the willpower to do anything else.
I have at least two books started that I never finished. I have many drawings that are half done. I still have that book on how to learn Photoshop and Illustration that I glanced through when I bought them two years ago. I don’t even want to mention countless short stories and ideas that are pilling up, nowhere near completion. I have around 20 books I have not read on my shelf, and I buy about 10 every year thinking it will get me to read them, but it never does.
What is even worse, this is not my first blog. I have had two or three before that I started, wrote a post or two a couple of years ago, and never continued because I didn’t know what to do with them.
Instead of getting scared that the years are going by and that they are taking me along with them, I feel even less willing to work on anything. That is exactly why I made this blog about a month ago, to finally motivate me to do something with my time.
And maybe, just maybe being 21 will not be so bad. I am aware that it will never be like Adele’s 21, but I will give it my best to make sure that I take the most of it.
This will finally motivate me to do something, at least I hope so. It will kick me in the arse and finally make me accept that not everything has to go by plan. There is no divine plan nor will there ever be, and that I am the maker of my own future.