I can’t say that I am immune to negativity as I might like to say, that has roots deep in my childhood obviously but I think that’s a lazy man’s excuse, everyone blames their childhood for every screwed up thing they do. But that’s another story for another time.
Just a few days ago I can say I saw my first “hate” comment, even though I am almost 100% sure this person doesn’t even know who I am or what I do. This actually happened on 26th of July, so almost two months ago I just saw it a few days ago.
This is from imgur ( I know, quite random). I used to save every one of my graphics with a link to the post and the link to the dropbox file just in case something happens, so basically as a backup.
This picture I have accidentally put it on for public display and people could have seen it outside of my profile. I wasn’t aware of this, I never did this before so I never really checked my notifications but for some random reason or a random click a few days ago when I was updating my picture storage I saw this.
Now, the reason why I know no one even read the chapter ( Tomorrow never came) is that I didn’t have anyone from imgur visiting my blog EVER. And yet this individual, this sad soul had felt the need to comment on a picture he doesn’t care about, about a chapter he thinks is a novel and he never even read to form an opinion on it.
That is what got me thinking. Why are people so keen on negativity? Why is it easier to hate even today when the topic of sharing and spreading positivity has been beaten down so many times all around the place. How is it possible that people feel better after doing such a thing?
At first, I was surprised, I will admit that I was hurt obviously but mostly because I didn’t see it coming, and I know it shouldn’t affect me but it did, for a minute or two. Then I stopped to care. I was actually awaiting more of such comments to a picture that wasn’t even there for them in the first place, about a chapter that they obviously don’t care about.
I am not cut out for this. I know it. The public display, the image where everyone sees you, what you are doing and that people feel the right or the need to comment on your actions as they see fit. I wouldn’t care if they were right… Sure, it would hurt, but deep down, if I knew they were right, I would accept it and move on. Try to be better. Try to be stronger, do a better job. But people spreading negativity just for the sake of it is why I have never really linked this blog to any of my personal accounts.
I don’t think you will ever know who I am or see me at any point. It’s better for me and it’s easier to separate my blog and my personal life. It might be harder to relate to me this way but I hope you will relate to the words, to the feeling, to the general atmosphere.
I am sensitive, I know this. I am overly emotional and I break down easily. That is why I wish for the world to stop with crushing people’s dreams and hopes down even if they don’t know them. It’s ok to criticize if you are bad at what you do, that is the way to improve. I know I am not the best, I never will be.
This is something I would like to address. Not all people have thick skin and I hate that THAT is a requirement in the modern world. If you agree with any part if you see yourself in any sentence and you wish for the world to change even though it probably never will, share this so that maybe one person out there will see that their choices and their words do leave an impact.
Maybe someday you won’t be required to wear an armor everytime you want to follow your dreams.