Essentially, this is going to be my first rant here. So let’s start, shall we?
A while ago I think I mentioned that I was working and studying at the same time and that it used to be a source of conflict in my life for a long while. Later on, I learned how to balance my many obligations mostly due to some compromises like not writing anymore, or barely reading anything and so on.
After the rain always comes the sun, and it was warm for about half a year with minor turbulence. I actually even started to go jogging again, I decided to get my life back in some order and shit and it was going well for most of the time. But I knew better, that couldn’t last long. It never does.
At the point when I was feeling most comfortable with my life after a long time, stuff happened at work and I got caught in some unnecessary drama. I got accused of some stuff I would never do, but that wouldn’t be such a big deal for me if the others didn’t automatically believe what a person they don’t even like said. They all changed their behavior towards me overnight.
Looking back on it, I had to laugh at what I allowed myself to be caught into, and just when I was giving my best effort when I wanted to make an extra effort so that I can leave that place with my head held high. I always planned to quit when the summer started anyway, when I would look for a different job, a job that didn’t suck the life out of me every day, but after these events, I am planning to throw in the towel sooner than I wanted. I could very well continue working under false accusations just to receive a paycheck until June, but to have everyone turn on me, ignore me, avoid me, the people I used to be somewhat close to. That is something I won’t allow. It’s not an issue of my ego or self-worth, it’s a matter of not putting up with anyone’s bullshit anymore. At least now I am sure how hypocritical the people I used to tell stuff I would never tell any other colleague are.
And why did this all happen? Because a couple of days ago I went in to complain about the teacher’s pet, a person everyone else hated bar the person in charge. I was the first one to speak my mind and I got punished for it. Lesson learned I guess. This is just one of them I will learn on a lifelong journey, and in the next ones, I can’t be so stupid and naïve. I thought my judgment of people was correct but it seems I need to recess that too.
Also, sorry to the few people who read this, this is not normally what I do, I just felt I needed to vent, find some sense in all of this when my brain is already twisted and turned in all sorts of places and ways. I did help me find some sort of closure, it assured me that I am not making that big of a mistake but who knows. Time will tell in the end I guess.