It is better to write tragic endings.
It is something most people don’t know is coming. Everyone seeks a happy ending even though most of the time, they don’t get one, that is why they are always looking, searching, praying that it’s finally their turn, that they have earned the right. It’s a need, a hunger for the rainbow at the end of a long monsoon season.
It seems like the madness never ends, that it has made it its personal mission to seek you out and destroy you. That is where I am at now. After all the things that have happened to me in the last few months, there are times when I just don’t see it becoming better. Sometimes I lose the will to fight, sometimes I curse at whoever is responsible for my tragedies. Without tragedies, there is no hope of fortune. It’s just really hard to understand that at times. It’s really REALLY hard.
And this will not be a try to encourage you, a push towards better things, because I would feel like a hypocrite. I am not the one, I am in no position to give any encouragement or advice. This is just a journal entry of my current state in life, how shitty it is and how I am hoping everything will be cleared in the near future.
I am going day by day, trying to make myself be as fulfilled as possible, but it’s not always quite up there. I don’t believe that I am going there all the time. My mind is just a place where nothing is in order, just like these sentences. My organization skills are not the point here though.
So far, I am only able to write tragedies, with a hope that someday I will be ready to write happy endings as well, hopefully mine.