So, like every aspiring writer who hears about Camp Nano for the first time, I was super pumped to begin the journey, hoping and believing with all of my being that THAT will propel me towards writing on a more regular basis, as opposed to pantsing and writing once every blue moon strikes.
I had set myself a goal of 25k words until the end of the month, knowing that I have three big exams and two smaller ones in the month of April, that I am almost working full time and that I can write exclusively after my classes and before my shift, which is about, let’s say, two hours a day.
I had already planned out going to different coffee shops, going to the library, going to the park etc etc and just writing whatever and however I can. I knew it would be difficult to follow this plan because, I know me, and also because of my workload.
But, I was determined.
And on the first day, I wrote an astounding 2500 words, in about an hour and a half, probably two hours, after I came home from my shift on the 31st, which was technically the first of April by then. I wanted so bad to get a head start and just force myself into that mindset that I have a goal to accomplish and that it needed to be done.
The next day I wrote about 600 words and I thought to myself, great! I am more than enough in front of the schedule, I can take a couple of days off to go running in the morning, try to study for my mid-terms and what not.
And here we are, the 10th of April and that manuscript still sits at 3k words.
I have not written a single word for that story in 8 fucking days! And I feel horrible.
I keep saying to myself that after I finish with my bigger exam on the 15th I will get my ass in front of my keyboard and type until my fingers bleed, but I feel like I am probably deluding myself. I had such high hopes and dreams and they literally fell apart after Day 2. Day freaking 2!
From this perspective I know I can force myself to write 22k words in 15 days. I mean I have never done it before, but the determination to succeed is bound to kick in at some point! Right? RIGHT?!?
And not getting the vacation days I asked for to study for my exams didn’t help either. I am overworked, my brain is scrambled from being in the books for literally an entire century, and my creativity is dead.
I don’t know, I think I just need a realiti check.
(and definitely, give camp another try in July!)