This is also another entry from a long long time ago, probably like three years I would say. just like last weeks post, it’s one I want to document for myself mostly as a form of… therapy? Anyways, there might be something important for you to learn as well.
So this week marks a start of a new chapter in my life. I finally let go… of my old job.
It felt so liberating and long overdue. In my last rant I don’t know if you followed, I talked about quitting my job all the way back in March/April and not knowing if I could push it through to the summer. I did it.
It was hard. The last couple of days were hard. I was really sad that I won’t see certain people on a daily basis. I didn’t want to let go.
But this was not a decision I made over night. It has been stewing for 3 months. I was going over it over and over again, thinking, analyzing if I am doing the right thing for me initially. I had a lot of classes that I haven’t finished because of that lousy job. I had a lot of things not done because of that job, like writings done, courses, lots and lots of activities that I have neglected like running and reading books.
I must point out it was not the job; it never was the job. I was good at my job, dare I even say the best of the new ones.
Those in charge where never satisfied. Every meeting they had things to bash about me. How could they be satisfied when they are half incompetent and half just plain evil to the core. They are managers that don’t know the first thing about managing or are able to manage or lead anyone, let alone 10 people a shift.
I was just tired having to beg for days off so that I can study for my exams, or evening shifts that I could go to classes, or shorter shifts everyday like we agreed on in the beginning. Had I known that I would have to work 8h shifts 6 days in a week I would have never started working there in the first place. That was the moment that I decided I am leaving, when I saw that for the second week in a row I have to work 50 hours, even though I explicitly said that I have 3 exams in a time span of 10 days.
Some of them didn’t understand why I was leaving and they still don’t. I never told them that I did get a new job, a sort of freelancing that I don’t really feel like wanting to talk about at the moment.
Some were definitely relieved that they won’t have to same. Each to their own right I guess. I accepted the fact long ago that no one has to like me, but they sure can’t fuck with me in anyway.
At the end, they wanted me to stay, for different reasons. One person believed that I could be a great manager someday, like that was even my goal to begin with, but she believed I was more then capable. It was not the person I wanted to hear those words from because the person in charge couldn’t give a fuck.
It was too late to change my mind even had the director said all those things.
I have made good friendships I think and I hope that I will see those people in the future.
I am going to miss that place though. It was a part of my life for almost two years. It’s not easy letting go of something that defined you for such a long period of time, but I had to. I had no choice. My free time, mental and physical health were and always should be my No1 priority.
At the moment I am overwhelmed with all of the newly found free time that I have. It was amazing. I can finally do all the things I was planning on for months. I can finish my classes. Go on a trip. Read. Write. Anything in the world. I am looking forward to that. I missed having a choice. It feels good to have them.
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