Chapter 26a – Don’t wake up the devil

We all have a dark side. You can try to hide it, but what’s the point hiding a part of you, a big part? The light is just as important as the dark. There is no reason why it shouldn’t see the daylight.
I am the person who never sees all the things as strictly white or black. We are all just a different shade of grey. Many don’t agree but it doesn’t bother me. I never let the furthest parts of my dark side surface anyway.
It is in human nature. One cannot be purely good or evil. What kind of world would that be?

don't wake up the devil

I have a sleeping evil inside of me, I know it and accept it. I work hard not to let it out sometimes, but I do make a compromise. In order not to let the demon out, I let the sorrows, the pain, the anguish consume me at times. In small portions I let the jealousy, the anger, the hate out. Small doses at times when I can’t hold it in anymore.
I wish that part of me was gone with a snap of my fingers, but sometimes I am grateful, it fuels my art and determination for the good to cast a shadow over it. To conceal it at least, even though it will always be there I know it will. No amount of self-control will ever change that but that makes me ME. Accept me. I accept you.
It does not harm others and it never will. I am its only victim. If it stays locked and under control that will continue to be the case. I have survived all these years, I know how to keep it a good and semi-obedient pet by now.
I like it when it sleeps and I am still learning not to disturb it too much at times. There is always space to learn and grow.
Let it sleep, and hopefully it will die before I do.

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