Chapter 7 – Is quiet violent?

You guessed it – another song inspired thought process.

Listening to the song repeatedly for the majority of last month it has come to my attention that, besides it being a lyrical masterpiece, it has really questioned some things in me.

The famous quote goes “Sometimes quiet is violent”, and it got me really torn, for the most part, I didn’t know whether to agree or disagree.

Having no thoughts, no fears, hopes or dreams is like being quiet, it’s being dead inside. Having no creative impulses and just being static is a waste of a life given to you, a life you should live out because you only get one. No refunds.

It was really bothering me because I myself have those days when I am quiet when I don’t want to talk to anyone, when I would just rather be alone, scribbling in my notebook in some corner or tucked into a warm blanket with tea waiting for me on the table, but my mind is never quiet.

My physical manifestation of the state is not equivalent to my mental state. I don’t think there will ever be a time when I won’t be thinking of things I could have been doing, or things I want to and will accomplish. It’s just that my crippling anxiety and financial state prevents me from living out my fantasies at this moment, a state I am hoping to change in the years to come (with things just now starting to change for the better after years of it being utter garbage).

I have always been a person with lots of interests mostly because I couldn’t not just simply pick one and stick to it. I like to try everything. That is why my life can never be quiet. While everything around me can stay quiet I never will. I am not bringing myself to harm, I am not violating my existence.

Even though sometimes having some peace and quiet is good for the soul, I don’t think I could survive a day without listening to music. I even leave my laptop on at night and play music on it (and I have been doing this for years now), while I position it next to my bed. When I was little, the only way I could fall asleep is if the radio was playing. So yes, for me sound is a necessity. I also need to hear my own voice, because without it I would be dead inside, and that is where silent is violent.

I will never be completely silent. The moment I abandon all of this is the day I die.

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